Multiple Choice

Take me away

Christmas time. Home time. Now it’s over. And we all need to go back to reality. As someone said, “Cryin’ won’t help you at all”. It’s not that bad, only one fact is. I hate him so much that the more I think about comming there, the less I wanna come. “Silent of words where there’s nothing left.” So what else can I say more? If I say “8”, would it be enough? Damn stupid 8? 
Ok, so in conclusion: I don’t wanna go back. I wanna stay here. So in other words: “Don’t wanna grow up, I wanna get out, hey, take me away”. And I wanna my series back! It’s like a rehab. Or worst. Not only that I’m sad. I am also nervous. 
Status: wanna stay at home!
Song: “Ein letztes Mal” by Lafee

2.1.09 21:17


Emprezar Desde Creo

New Year, but same old stories. Hope this ’09 will be better. Yesterday I was taking to someone. And it reminds me of everything. Last year this time, exactlly this time, it was so … amazing, that it was me. I mean, that that has happened what has happened. And now? After a year? Well…during this time something (or more than something) has chnged in this situation, but after this whole year now it’s okay. Not great, but okay. Seems like I can live with this all. And won’t miss what I thought I would. After this three months I see I am not missing (or don’t think about it?) so I’m sure I’ll deal with it. Or am I just not missing only because I know it’s not far away? Or only because I have something els to miss? Nevermind. Just wanna tell you that somehow I still remember that great time and try to forget what was wrong then.
Status: not stupendo, aber okay
Song: “The Unforgiven” by Stefanie Heinzmann

1.1.09 13:06


Getting better. Still missing something. Who said money is not important? Who said it doesn’t change anything? Let me kick this person. He’s a liar. Somehow is not better. And am still jealous. How wouldn’t I be? I only wait for Saturday. I know, I know. It’s only delusion. I feel like “I come from a planet a long way from here”. Ok, but to Saturday it’s still a few days and I need to be back in the reality now. So v. short today. See U soon. 
“Same mistakes. Different time and different place”. Right….No comment. 
Status: absorbed with Queen. 

16.12.08 18:45

The shadow lands

Why I give up so easily? Not only this time, but too often. Maybe I’m not “strong enough” (as someone is … ) or I’m strong enough just for a short time, than everything come back to normality and I give up. And this week? What’s wrong? I have only two days and I do nothing (right: nothing) to change anything. Just like I think it’s too late now. Cause it is. I had my chance and it’s over now. “help me please, show my the way again”. Right. This time you can’t change it. Do you even want? It’s not about me. I give up – so what? It’s nothing new for me. Just…I wanted to be fair to those who supported me. I still want, but I can’t. So this is what hurts the most – that I hurt them, not me. And now? What am I doing? I should definitely do something else. But? Right, I gave up. But why? Hm…let me thing. Everything was going right, I was so close to never give up and then…. Then what? 
“So tell me how to fight with that what’s wrong, I’m not strong enough. Is it a way to receive the power? ( ... )Where is this power and where can we take it?”
Status: Out of power.  
P.S. Lyric translated by me, so it’s a “happily creativeness”, but I’m totally addicted to this song. 
P.S. 2 I just saw the date of the recent “giving up” note. Just a month before. What happened then that I receive some power? Or who did I meet? Do you remember?

9.12.08 18:30

Can you hear me

Well….I’d never new how it is to have so funny neighbors Maybe it’s because I’ve never live in a block of flat before :P Or maybe because I’ve never had so funny neighbors. Only my roommate is not so glad about them as much as I am. But it’s only because using the door bell early in the morning – cause they knew I am not sleeping – but they forget my roommate COULD be sleeping. But I’m sure my roommate would like them soon too :P Right. Is impossible to dislike people like them. And I’m still impressed how a person (or two people) could be so …. perfect?
Ok, let’s get back to other things today. As you see, recently I am writing more here. I just wanna show, I remember. And I still care. But you know that. I only wanted to proof it a bit to myself. Show, that I remember how it is to remember. 
And now something about today: on my short list of friends – which is getting bigger recently so quick – is a new person. A person I haven’t thought before he will be there. Things changes, right? I am changing too. I feel like here’s the right time for me. Like I was waiting 19 years to meet people I should meet and to meet people which are right for me. With which I feel like I am me. And I realize I feel something new. Something what was a bit uncommon for me before. (Just a bit, but still). And I still looking for the name for this feeling. 
And now something about numbers: 20 (kilometers) is not that much, but 10 (years) is not enough to realize this. Sometimes you need 19 (years) to meet that, what that days was just 20 (kilometers) away from you, but now is 320 (kilometers) away from where it was. And you meet this. 1 (meter) from you. So far away from the beginning. And you needed 19 (years) for it. And now come and tell me, that this is not a destiny. 
Status: Strange new feeling

28.11.08 23:01

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